After the January Thaw... it's all in your perception...

Heya! been a while... Seems my focus has been more on websites, a cable tv show and continued interior rehab on this old house! than on 'natural evolutions..." but, maybe (probably?) its really all part of the same thing... who am I, where am I, and what am I doing here.... was my mantra for more than 20 years... and at the end of the 80's, I came also to the end of a cycle of young wife, young mother & woman of the 80's who 'can-have-it-all'. Thank god for evolution, in the transformative sense ..(you know we're not necessarily talking about growing another pair of hands or a second head.... although,, back then, that might have helped... come to think of it... Cloning would have probably been a great option) .... anyway... believe it or not... it's 20 years later (how does that happen?) ...  and the end of yet another cycle...  This time, however, my perception is 180 degrees different! 1989/90 was about endings... what I had lost, grandparents, my home, my babies had grown up, didn't want or need a full-time Mummy and were no longer at home, my job... all that had defined me drained away...  even my parents moved out of the home I had grown up in! It seemed to me they fled to Florida... I felt an orphan, tho' never really able to express that... I was lost... even I had trouble finding me...

Thank goodness, I say, now!  Thank goodness they had the sense and courage to do what they wanted to do... my parents, my kids... thank god we went thru it all! My dad used to say... anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger... and wow did I used to hate that! Now sometimes, I sound sort of like him! Now I get!

As we moved thru the end of the last century and I turned the page on the 1999 December calendar (and my 50th birthday) "shift" hit the fan again! Another 10 years with dramatic changes: My parents have passed and more pets are gone, our daughters moved out of state... and that topped the 1st day of school and the High School graduations more than I was prepared for! Seeking solace, community, sisterhood, some kind of understanding about all of it... Coming out of the 70-80's with Women Lib, 12-step and ACOA programs, self-help books, John Bradshaw, and so many others... I now found yoga, tai chi, Carolyn Myss, Mutant Message, Mother Wit. Adrenal overload, stress, poor nutitional choices had left physically and emotionally deplete... I juiced! Took Reiki, investigated shamanism and passed lives.... looking everywhere for more..... or less! Oops... another mirror, another metaphore... maybe less was more! I used to take that literally... and thought...what about my stuff... what about, what about, what about...

Here's the deal....  evolution (at least so far) doesn't seem to be an 'overnight' thing...  it is a process...
(Like growing up... it only happens when you get older... well, maybe that's another topic... )
Is it the perspective we get from being able to look back at all this experience, the awarenss that comes from all the lessons, and our willingness to learn and grow from them, that actually, finally takes hold of us... and can we learn to have compassion for ourselves in light of all the challenges... so we may begin to find we can extend that compassion to others?

Because, sometimes, we can go years, worrying about the future, and agonizing over the past... without ever really recognizing that all we have is now... that if, right now, we are ok... that is a big deal. And if we are ok right now... then what 'was', brought us here... and perhaps we can begin to have compassion and understanding for that.... it's the cycle...

In 1994 I was introduced to Labyrinths. They were a metaphore for the spiritual journey, the path of the seeker, reflecting the twists and turns of our earth walk... and, to me... the way our lives moved in cycles, leading us closer to what we desired and then away from it... or so it seemed. Perspective, once again... in the labyrinth, as long as I stayed on the path... even tho' I appeared to be moving away from the goal... I eventually came to the center. Interesting... same deal on the way out... as long as you stayed on the path... as long as you kept moving... you always get where you intend to go, inspite of the perceived twists and turns.

Ahh... my mind was evolving... my comprehension expanding... my awareness shifting... everything seemed an opportunity for growth and learning... (delete the 4-letter words) I was back in school... Oh! I was in Earth School! This was no longer just me on a search for more meaning in my life... was it a spiritual quest...was I an evolving human... or a spiritual being having a human experience???

I suppose... it's all in your perspective...

Well, my labyrinth website:  http://www.asilvercord.com/  is online. The non-profit has created a new public access cable show which airs Sunday nite, 7:30 pm, January 31. 2010, channel 9, WCTV, Wareham Comcast Cable. If you'd like to help out, visit http://www.atthehub.org/ and check out the Community Resource pages. 

Funny thing... 20 years ago... I was juggling schedules, writing & editing copy, designing layouts, learning a new computer and networking. Same thing this week! Web pages, video taping and editing, Production meetings. Wow! can't wait for tomorrow!   It's that perspective thing again... Only this time... I get to pick!

Peace...
Deb